America moves to annex Mexico

Following the precedent set by Russia in Crimea, President Obama today ordered American troops into Mexico. Shortly before the invasion began, Mr Obama took to national primetime and read diligently from the teleprompter, "Ethnic Americans comprise the majority of people in Mexican territories of Cancun, Cozumel, Cabo and Acapulco. We fear for the safety of these Americans."

Mexicans welcoming American troops

The tough talk and action on Mexico has bought some breathing room for the beleaguered president, who has been accused of being soft on Russia, Iran, Syria and China. And also on Pakistan, Iraq and Afghanistan.

Rather than putting up resistance to the American invasion, the Mexicans actually welcomed the American troops. Mexico is said to be planning an electoral vote that will determine whether they become part of USA.

An opinion poll conducted by NBC-WSJ yesterday determined that a full 100% of Mexicans were likely to vote in favor of joining USA. It was also reported that the 73 druglords who rule Mexico will likely abstain from voting.

Seeking to make hay while the sun shines, President Obama declared that he had solved the vexing immigration issue once and for all. Thumbing his nose at the Republicans, he remarked "No more illegal aliens and no more border securing. We are all one country now - a big happy family. I may not have reached across the aisle, but I certainly reached across the border"

The new country will reportedly retain the name USA, with Mexico becoming the 51st state.