Thursday, November 21, 2013

Chicago man finds innovative solution to daily commute

Mukul Gupta finally grew tired of his daily 90 minute commute into downtown Chicago, and this spurred his creative thinking into overdrive. He discovered an innovative solution to the daily traffic jams that plague his journey into work.
Mukul decided that the best way to eliminate the traffic jam was to eliminate the underlying cause of his commute - his job. He was quoted as saying, "Naa rahega baans, na bajegi bansuri."
Once Mukul quit his job, he was amazed at how much free time he suddenly had, and how the traffic jams were no longer an issue! When he was asked how he planned to now support his family, he grew clearly distraught and remarked, "Uhh...I hadn't really thought of that."

Sarita celebrates karva chauth

Sarita rolled around in bed stretching her naked body languidly, as her arm lingered over Michael's chest. Her mind raced over their amorous adventures, and she felt herself blushing thinking over the last hour of their passionate romp. Rahul, her husband of seven years, had never managed to give her such pleasure.
Her parents had married her off to Rahul as the well settled USA based IT professional. While he strived to provide for Sarita, and please her at every turn, it only served to turn her off. Lately, she found his nerdiness to be unbearable. However, as a true "bhartiya naari", she listened dutifully to stories of his computer algorithms and how he had managed to master the art of recursive function calls in java.
Her affair with Michael had come as a welcome relief from her boring married life. But today was different - after all, it was karva chauth; and Sarita was nothing if not the pious dutiful wife.
As she rolled out of bed and searched for her undergarments that she had divested off in such a rush, Michael protested, "Sarita, why can't you stay a bit longer? We've hardly had time to spoon and cuddle". Sarita was aghast at his insensitivity to her Indian culture. Admonishing him, she exclaimed, "Michael! Have I taught you nothing about my Indian culture? It's karva chauth and I must rush home today to fast for my husband, and to pray for his long life." Michael simply shrugged, he had come to really admire her culture in bed, and wasn't about to pose any questions that might jeopardize that arrangement.

Sarita was home in a jiffy. She wasted no time in decking herself up for the karva chauth pooja. She quickly washed down the chicken tikka with some vodka and lemonade. Gin was her favorite drink, but vodka would have to do today - what with its lack of odor. After all, it was karva chauth and she could hardly show up at the pooja smelling of her favorite gin. 
The pooja was a blast, and all the women gossiped abundantly about the women who were not present. 
Later that evening, as they waited for the moon to show up, Sarita discreetly gulped down a few more vodkas. When the moon finally showed up and Sarita managed to glance at it, she was rather drunk and dehydrated from all that vodka. She smiled weakly at Rahul, "Happy karva chauth, dear hubby". And then she promptly proceeded to pass out on the polished hardwood floor of their new home.
Rahul rushed her to ER, where the staff declared her "dehydrated", and proceeded to pump her with a couple of bottles of fluid via IV. Rahul was so gratified by Sarita's selfless love that he promptly issued a Facebook update, "Sarita fainted today from her lack of fluids due to karva chauth fasting. I am so lucky to have such a lovely wife with true Indian values. Love you Sarita"